How do ‘you’ stand apart in this world of competition?

Everybody faces competition and has to tackle one-upmanship during his or her lifetime. I was born in India and exposed to competition right from my formative years. India is currently home to about 1.15 billion people, representing a full 17% of the earth’s population. With such a sheer population explosion and finite resources there’s inherent competition starting right from getting admission in the ‘best crèche’ in your neighborhood to finding your dream job. As toddlers, we are all taught to behave our best and mind our manners in front of others. As adolescents, the pressure builds further where even a .5% difference in SAT scores can dictate if you will get admission in the premier college of your choice or not.

Later on as adults soon after you have graduated you are beckoned by the real world to make something of yourself and find your dream job. As you stand in line waiting your turn eagerly, you look around and see you are standing amidst a sea of others just like yourself. You realize you are just one among the thousands competing for the same thing. More importantly, you notice how similar you look with the person standing next to you. They appear to be wearing similar clothes, make-up, hold comparable portfolio, share similar educational qualifications, all of them vying for that one spot. Like them, you too share similar aspirations to succeed and to get to that number one spot with the higher title and bigger pay. Before you realize, you start drinking from the same kool-aid!

Time and again you are faced with the same question. Recruiters at college or work repeatedly ask you; “Tell me, why should I choose or hire ‘you’ over others?” What makes you stand apart? You start scrambling in your head and thinking, how can I prove I’m better than a Joe or a Helen to bag this opportunity? You start pulling out your GPA scores, the certifications you’ve gained, awards you have won, and try to show off your presentation skills with which you think you can win over your competitor(s). I say competition, as you are always trying so hard to prove to be better than the person standing next to you.

Truth is, you are perpetually in a race chasing that next big thing you think will make you happy and content. Our society in many ways dictates this race. It got me thinking that I’m possibly never going to truly win this race! How long will I have to keep chasing trying to prove my merit over the others? If I do not remove my blinders now, this can end up being the never-ending chase of my life.

The question of how do I stand apart suddenly ceases to exist. I realized, that I was asking this question and looking for an answer outside. The answer is actually much simpler and elementary. It lies in the ‘core’ of us all revealing who we truly are. Now, this requires some digging not on the outside but ‘within’. Partaking in this race we tend to put on layers upon layers thinking it’ll make us better, stronger or superior than the others. However, in actuality, who we really are lies beneath all those layers we’ve been adding throughout our lives. In order to get to that truth, we need to strip ourselves of all that manmade baggage.

The question transforms to become, “How do I want to be known or remembered tomorrow?” In that, lies the essence and answer to who we truly are. I believe, in unraveling and recognizing that core aspect of oneself, you finally become comfortable with yourself. You begin to truly understand and embrace your core values that matter most to you in your life. It’s in that process that you start recognizing both your strengths as well as your weaknesses that help in defining your character and personal brand. That awareness now becomes your ‘guiding force’, your uniqueness on how you start leading your life henceforth and portray yourself confidently to the world.

So the next time around you are standing in line waiting your turn, you instinctively start seeing things differently. More importantly, you start seeing yourself differently. You are not as psyched up about how can I prove that I’m better than Joe or Helen but rather your energies are diverted inwards to a deeper point. Your concerns become, are my actions aligned with my core values? The actions you take and the future decisions you make branch out from these core values and a better understanding of yourself.

It’s adhering to these core values that truly sets us apart making each one of us unique in this race of life. For Helen, the guiding force might be living a life of complete honesty, whereas for Joe all of his life’s decisions might revolve around his family’s wellbeing. In living with this realization you finally start living in synergy with your inner self. So as much as the external world might appear to be the same with its set of problems and challenges, your outlook on handling these challenges change.

You are no longer in a race to compete with others, but start shaping your life around what matters most to you in your life.

Photo by  MrB-MMX